50 minutes and revitalized

It was a bit like going to the spa. 

I have been thinking about things for awhile and after sloughing and scrubbing out the not-needed part in my life I am back to the basics.  I start this post just 50 minutes after deactivating my FB account permanately and revamping and renaming this blog of mine.  It feels like having newly painted toes and a clean shiny face from going to the spa.  My pores are cleansed and I smell great!  Although this change did not hit my pocketbook it might hit other parts of my life. Time will tell.  I do know that after a fabulous trip to the spa it is a bit harsh reentering the world when first stepping out into the bright sunlight.  I expect the same during this transition.  But ohhhh, I am so excited. 

Deactivated

"Too much. Too tired."
I have deactivated my Facebook account. It was coming. I knew it was. I was ready.
How do I feel right now? Fabulous. Free. Ready for time to do something else.

Here is something interesting. When you go to deactivate your account you have to give a reason. You can't just deactivate by selecting "other". I tried. I may have forgotten, but I don't recall Facebook needing a reason I joined but here they are feeling like a wounded friend and requiring me to tell them why I am leaving. Argh! So I put, "I don't have time" and guess what? Another window popped up and told me how Facebook can help with my problem. I was floored. Facebook really wants me so badly that it was negotiating with my decision? At that point, deactivation was not coming fast enough.

Good bye to my new friend. You knew the 2D version of me and I am ready for some 3D action, face to face. You knew me as a few short lines of post, often sarcastic and venting and often highlighting only one thread of my life and I am ready for some real conversation with voice, intonation and reflection. I am ready to return to my former life.

I wonder when I am going to pick up a journal and pen again? Blogger are you up next?

Whew...

I had a great day at work. I really do love teaching. My kids are great this year and I am enjoying each and every day. They are a really fun group of kids. Nothing to complain about there. They were particularly funny today and rather full of energy. Whew...sometimes 23 2nd graders can wear me out! My favorite quote of the day went to sweet G (can't tell you the real name) who let me know that, "Mrs. Lomas. I got it all figured out. I get life now." Then she proceeded to tell me, and the rest of the class, how it all just came to her today. It was so sweet, authentic and real that I am hoping she will remember it for the rest of her life. I know I will.

I love spending time with my boys and learning new things about them. Today I went to Portland and in the hour plus car ride CJ and I talked about so many things. He is such the chatter and always has so many things to say. I am usually amazed at what is going on in his head and what he is thinking about and today was the day I had time with him along and got to hear it all. We chatted about him being bi-racial, 9/11, the war and MLK. Just a few light topics to pass the time. Whew... a fabulous, intellectual conversation can be exhausting. He reminded me how a 9 year old can look at the world so innocently and still be smart and insightful.

Some friends are just the cat's meow. (Whatever that really means, not sure but I know that it is really, really good) They get me. I mean really get me. I don't have to do a lot of over-explaining. They can read-between the lines really well. They say just the right thing at just the right time. Some friends (thanks B & B) are really good cooks too! Some friends provide just the right oasis at just the right time. Whew...I needed that today!

I taught my last class of the term today for the university. Whew! What an interesting roller coaster ride that has been. Up...down...loopy-loop and back again. It has had its really high points and a few really low points. I have learned a lot and can see how I am growing as a teacher of adults. (FYI, 2nd graders are way more forgiving. Might have something to do with they are not paying $1000/term. Go figure.) Whew...they wore me out today. Now I get to grade papers. Yeah.

At the end of the day, relaxing and reflecting on a very long day, and realizing that with the great and good of the day there is also the bad and the ugly. Not always is there both and some days lean towards the good more than the bad (and visa versa). Part of life right? So why is it that after such a full day of good and great and fun and exciting and moving in a forward direction that at the end of such a wonderful day that part that is replaying over in my brain is the one tiny bad and ugly? Maybe I need to ask my 2nd grader that has it all figured out.

Together Again

The mighty hunter has returned without firing a shot. Year after year he tries this hunting thing. And another year has passed with him returning empty handed. Bummer. I do feel for him. He puts so much in and gets little return. Of course I say "little return" because what happens while hunting, well it never leaves the mountain. (Thanks goodness. I sure don't want to know!) This is a culture that I have never been a part and am perfectly content staying on the fringes and watching from afar.
After a week of elk hunting hubby has returned and all is right in the world again. I am not cut out to be a single mom. It is hard work! To all you single moms out there...past, present and future...you have my up most respect. Again my family is here to lend a helping hand with the kids, provide me with some adult conversation and just knowing they are around is a comfort. My aunt Vicki came up to stay with us for four days! Four days of a loving aunt watching my kids, playing games (CJ was overjoyed) and making sure they were safe and happy while I worked and their daddy was away. I am truly blessed.

A Time to Remember

I love when I remember something about my grandparents. It can can be sparked by a smell, sound, word, phrase, locale and/or picture. You know what I speak of...it is crazy how even the smallest, tiniest memory can bring a flood of emotions. All of my memories of my grandfather make me smile, giggle, laugh, chuckle and feel warm and cozy. He was a great man. He was so helpful and kind to everyone. He volunteers for so much and gave his time freely. He was always willing to help out. I remember asking him to help me with a project my senior year in high-school (drawing a cartoon) He not only did it, but explained the background, gave insight and was happy to help me out. He let me drive when I had my permit...those were fun times. He let me use his truck to drive into town when I needed (wanted) to visit my friends. He understood that sometimes it is nice to just sit and be still. He loved butter! He ate it on everything. He knew how to have a good time. He always had a funny joke to share. My mom made him lobster dinner for his birthday every year. He always wore a hat. He loved my grandma very much. He thought us kids were sometimes too wild and crazy. He liked to sit around and talk. He was smart and loved to tinker with things, figure them out. He could take apart anything and put it back together...cleaner and running smoothly. I love that my son CJ is so much like him. I love when I see CJ working on a project and using so much detail, it reminds me so much of my grandpa. I love when I see CJ helping others and being kind. He really is so much like his (middle) namesake, Jules E. Utterberg, my gramps. Today is a day to remember all that you did for your family and for your country. You loved Veteran's Day. I loved seeing you in your uniform, hat and pins. You were so self-less and gave so much to so many. You will always be remembered in my heart.

The Miracle of Friendship

It makes me laugh to know they all flew 3,000 miles and then come to sit in airplane seats and watch a video on the Spruce Goose.

It truly is a miracle. I am not sure why there are some people who I meet and instantly we are friends for life. Is is the time we meet, the what-we-are-doing and what-we-have-in-common? Is it the circumstances of our meeting? Combination? Why is it that some people have to "grow on ya" and then finally you are friends? For whatever reason this friendship started and now has stayed for 19 years is amazing. We met our first term at OSU and she left the following term. Those two short terms were packed with excitement, drama (more than I care to remember), laughs and the sleepless nights of studying and partying as only you can do your freshman year of college but they sealed a friendship. She moved to NYC to become a nanny.

I went to visit Katy back in 1996 for a fabulous 10 days in NYC. She was the perfect hostess and took me all over the city. Country mouse had met city mouse. I loved every second there. The city that never sleeps was a giant playground of fun. We had some good times in those days. She came back home to OR for a visit here and there over the years. We talk on the phone and now with texting and Facebook, well it seems we are more connected than ever. I do love hearing her talk though...she has a bit of a NY accent.

She came to visit her sister and we made plans to do dinner. Her hubby and two boys were coming for a family vacation. I was so excited! We met at the Evergreen Museum, home of the Spruce Goose, did some tourist stuff and then headed back to our house for some dinner and let the boys play. My 9 year old and 1 year old had a blast with her 6 and 4 year olds. Four boys and lots of toys all over the house was perfect. Can I just say she has not changed a bit in 19 years! All in all is was a quick visit but perfectly wonderful. The husbands met (and got along), the boys all played together and Katy and I got to catch up. I am hoping that I can blog soon about a trip to NYC!

Happy Halloween

What a busy, fun day! My aunt came up again am for a visit and we walked downtown to window shop and get out and about. We left before the downtown merchants put on their Halloween celebration so we missed about 1,000 kids waiting in really long lines for candy. Whew! My little Tigger was so cute! He also knew he was cute. I am not even kidding. First of all he let me hold his hand for about two blocks (small miracle) then he would catch his eye in a window, run towards it and growl. It was so stinking cute! We were totally cracking up. Of course everyone who did see him in costume let him know he was adorable, cute and so sweet. I am sure he understood every word too! CJ was Anikan Skywalker (aka Darth Vader before he turned to the dark side) which is pretty sweet since last year he went as Obi-Wan. (used the same costume two years in a row...sweet!) My mom stopped by on her way to a Halloween party...go figure, the 60+ year old has plans on a Saturday night! She went as a cowgirl, Lynda as a witch and Ross as Neo. They were so cool! So, all in all Halloween was fun and exhausting. All had a great time and all my little monsters are home relaxing or snoozing.